The Names

Naming a child is a difficult process, given that they are going to have to live with it, and, in a way, be defined by it, until they are old enough to fill out their own deed poll form.

You can’t, for instance, name a child Beastslayer when he’s under 6lbs. Nor if he grows up to be a quiet, sensitive lad. Called Beastslayer.

While he was just an (utterly amazing) ultrascan image to us, we used to call him Guido, after Guy Fawkes, as the initial due date was November 5, though this horrified One I Made Earlier, who'd met one too many many Guidos while living in New Jersey. She's grateful it didn't stick.

These are the kind of names we wanted to avoid:

Zowie Bowie

Audio Science Clayton

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily

Moxie Crimefighter Jillette

Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee

Speck Wildhorse Mellencamp

Diva Muffin Zappa


Moon Unit Zappa

Far be it from me to criticise another parent but I’m reluctant to name my child to reflect my morning mescaline intake.

Taken by surprise by the birth of a boy, we were fortunate to have so much unsolicited advice from people who either had no children or had called theirs Bob.

So, thanks everyone for these:

Lord

Lord Death
Ozymandias, King of Kings

Andy (suggested by Andy)

Paulie (suggested by Paulie)

Wheatsheaf (suggested, via Mike, by everyone at The Wheatsheaf, where Spud and I met.)

Waggy (as the scorer of Charlton Athletic's winning goal while the baby was labouring to exit the womb)
Carl Leaburn Raison

Rhymenor Raison

Bad Moon Raison

California Raison

Bear

Slam Man

Pint

Sid

Romain Raison

Succulent Raison

Cinnamonand Raison

Charlton

Charlle

Juicy Raison

Arizona Raison (so it would appear in the phone book as Raison, Arizona. Ian, who suggested this, followed up the suggestion with “I am on fire”.)

Rumand

Herrod

Laird (so he’d be known as L. Raison)

Lazarus

Fun D Raison

Mojo Raison

Scorpio Raison

Perversely, we chose to discard these thoughtful suggestions and name the boy, Kit Raison.

Now for the middle name: Rooster or Rocket?