Get A Job!

With Kit approaching 11 months it's high time he thought about a career, or preferably, how to avoid one.

I had about as much idea of my future plans at 11 months as I did when first asked by a Careers Advisor, "Have you given any thought to a career?"

"Have you?" I replied, given that his role was to go around schools telling disinterested kids they should join the Army.

I decided against telling him I wanted to be a footballer. Or Spider-Man. Or both.

You're bound to wonder what your child might be when they grow up. Previous generations tended to think along the lines of a safe career, a job for life with a nice pension, like banking. Now bankers have no more respect than pornographers and less perks.

Many kids when asked what they want to be answer: "Famous".  They probably mean X Factor famous – a noble ambition. After all, who else is going to open the Poundlands of the future?

It is hard to think of Kit as anything other than a baby. Mind you, the same could be said of some of my friends.

Now he's crawling he has an uncanny knack of finding the most dangerous thing in the room, which probably rules out a career in the police.

Richard Littlejohn (pronounced kŭnt)

The only physical attribute to offer any clues is his hands. They are massive! Big broad fists on a tiny body, like Barry McGuigan or Mickey Mouse. But no parent would want their child to go into the ring, unless, in my case, it was to pummel Richard Littlejohn's face beyond recognition. That would be ace.

People are often surprised by my love of boxing, as I am clearly a man of peace, if not extreme cowardice. I'm a lover not a fighter - so do be careful if I happen to get you in a clinch.

Boxing though, is in our blood, as my great-great-I don't know how many greats-to-be honest- grandfather was a bare knuckle fighter who is said to have killed a man in a bout and had to flee the country to Canada.

I appreciate boxing is brutal and can't make a strong argument for punching someone's head for entertainment, but while it's still legal, I'll lap it up. Apart from the under-appreciated mental side of the sport, boxing provides discipline and structure to an awful lot of lads who would otherwise fall into crime, or worse, The X Factor.